Pyramids

Today, Theo and I went out to The Great Pyramids of Giza. The Pyramids and the Sphinx are unbelievable monuments. To think that these massive structures were built with third millennium BC engineering and technology is mind-blowing, as is the fact that they have staunchly weathered the test of time. As the world's tallest manmade structures for 3800 years, they are as majestic as tombstones get. 

The coolness of the actual Pyramids aside, today's excursion was a telling display of how different American and Egyptian ways and cultures are. For comparison's sake, say the Pyramids were on top of a hill somewhere in the Mojave desert. You would have to pay fifty dollars to enter the grounds. When purchasing your admission, you would be given an option of several packages, like a guided tour, headset tour, horse-and-buggy ride, admission inside an actual pyramid, meal at the rotating restaurant, attendance to the "Pharaoh Light Show", etc. Among the Pyramids, which would be very clean and well-maintained, would be wide wooden boardwalks with informational boards lining the railings every several yards, and from which you would not be allowed to stray. To leave the grounds, there would be one exit, through which you would enter the "Pyramids Museum", the "Pyramids Cafe", and the "Pyramids Gift Shop". There might even be a theme ride. 

As it is, the Pyramids are on the outskirts of Cairo, which means that they make up a price for everyone based on how big of a sucker they think you are. I was charged 60 pounds (10 dollars), and Theo got in free because he speaks Arabic and has a journalist ID. Once inside, there is absolutely no regulation or signs or guided anything. There are the occasional uniformed "Tourism Police", tons of tourists, and hundreds of people trying to sell you things.  You pretty much just walk around some dusty desert. You can climb on the pyramids, but the "building blocks" are huge, and a pain to climb. It is absolutely shocking that one of the most marketable and iconic tourist destinations in the world is run like this. Any American who took an economics class could make an absolute killing by improving the way this place is run. 

Which brings me to the dominant experience of the visit. As you drive down the highway getting close to the pyramids, there are hoards of men standing in the middle of the road, and as you slow down not to hit them, they come up and shake the hand of the cabbie. Then they start aggressively trying to sell you a camel or horse-and-buggy ride up into the pyramids. And when I say aggressive, I mean they try and open the car door and get in. One man never stopped yelling at us as he hopped on the trunk. Theo slammed his hand against the window and yelled "GO AWAY", and he finally got the picture. Once inside the grounds, they are relentless. All you have to do is look at one camel, and they descend like vultures. They repeatedly ask "how much? how much? They do not take no for an answer. They work in increments, so first you are taking a picture of the camel, then you are holding the riding crop, then you are sitting on the camel just to see what it's like, then they don't let you down until you pay them (camels are waaay to tall to jump from). They also aggressively try to sell you little knick-knacks. One man was trying to sell me little stone pyramids, and he kept banging them together really hard, as if their structural integrity was a deal-breaker for me. It's insane. 

The most hilarious part of the whole thing is that Theo decided that he is going to do a video blog post about the venders at the Pyramids for Global Post. (Check here in about a week or so for it) So he had a video camera, which for some reason, drew these people in like sharks to blood. They would flock to him, aggressively trying to sell whatever they had. Theo would not respond, and just hold the camera up to their faces as they yelled at him to buy a camel ride. They didn't really know how to handle this response, so they pause briefly, but just keep asking and haggling with themselves, until Theo stops the recording and walks away. They would follow, and start asking me, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing. 

So, the Pyramids are amazing, but if anyone ever goes, don't let anyone tell you that a camel is required for entry, because it's not, and if you look like a dumb enough American, they will tell you this lie. And if anyone comes anywhere near you, avert your eyes.